I feel like everything that is wrong is my fault.
I grew him in my body for 9 months. I am the only one that can provide nourishment for him from the moment he is conceived until he starts solid foods and eventually weans from breastfeeding. I take care of him everyday all day. Yes I have help. But I am his mother. It is all my fault if he is unhappy, grumpy or isn’t getting the nourishment he needs.
I know, I know…all babies are hard work. All babies are high maintenance because they’re babies, they’re helpless and need their parents. I love my little boy but he is a mighty handful. And I worry constantly that all of his issues…unhappy while nursing (screaming!), hating naps, not sleeping through the night anymore, fussy all day almost all the time…are all my fault.
How do I get rid of these feelings? How do I accept that it’s not me? Or is it me? How do I make it better if (or if it’s not) me? Here I am, once again, with nothing but questions and no answers in sight.
ps- I need more pictures of Jeffrey and I. I am most often the one behind the lens and there aren’t as many as I would like.
